6 minute read

1. Use the SHR Method

See, Hear, Remember—This method emphasizes the importance of creating authentic connections with people by being present and engaged in the conversation. It’s about more than just listening; it’s about showing that you truly care about the other person’s life and experiences.

Why it matters: By remembering personal details, such as someone’s interests or milestones, you demonstrate that you value them, which in turn helps build rapport and trust.

Example: After meeting a colleague at a team-building event, you remember that they recently moved into a new house. The next time you speak with them, you ask how the move went, showing that you’re genuinely interested in their life.

Pro Tip: Keep a small note of the personal details shared during conversations and bring them up in future interactions. This shows you care, creating deeper and more lasting relationships.

2. Follow the 7-38-55 Rule

The 7-38-55 Rule reveals that in communication, only 7% of our message comes from the words we use, 38% from our tone of voice, and 55% from our body language. This highlights the power of non-verbal cues and how they can influence how we are perceived in the workplace.

Why it matters: Understanding that your body language and tone contribute significantly to how your message is received can help you communicate more effectively, ensuring your messages are interpreted as intended.

Example: You are delivering a presentation. While speaking, you maintain eye contact, stand confidently, and use hand gestures to emphasize your points. This helps engage your audience far more than the words alone could.

Pro Tip: Pay attention to your non-verbal signals by practicing positive body language and a warm tone in conversations to build stronger connections and be seen as approachable.

3. Master the 4-Bullet Update

When giving updates, clarity and brevity are key. A 4-Bullet Update is a quick, structured way to communicate your progress while keeping everyone on the same page. This method covers the most important points that stakeholders need to know.

Why it matters: Clear communication makes it easier for your team or manager to understand your progress and how to assist you. It also positions you as organized and reliable.

Example: During a weekly team meeting, you provide a 4-bullet update like this:

  • Accomplishments: Finished designing the user interface.
  • Current tasks: Working on backend integration.
  • Blockers: Waiting on API documentation from the client.
  • Next steps: Test integration and prepare for the demo.

Pro Tip: Use this format consistently in your emails or meetings to keep communications focused and actionable.

4. Study Your Speaking

Treat your speaking style as an athlete treats their performance—by recording, analyzing, and improving. Recording your calls, meetings, or presentations allows you to self-reflect and refine your communication skills.

Why it matters: Constant self-reflection helps identify areas where you can improve, such as minimizing filler words, adjusting your tone, or changing your pacing for better clarity.

Example: After listening to a recorded presentation, you notice you say “um” too often and speak too quickly. You can focus on slowing down your speech and eliminating fillers in your next presentation.

Pro Tip: Record key conversations or meetings and play them back to identify areas for improvement, whether it’s eliminating filler words or adjusting your pacing to be more engaging.

5. Ask Rapport-Building Questions

Fostering relationships requires showing genuine interest in others. By asking open-ended, rapport-building questions, you demonstrate that you care about what matters to the other person beyond just the surface level.

Why it matters: Asking thoughtful questions not only strengthens your professional relationships but also gives you valuable insights into the interests and values of others, building a foundation for trust.

Example: During a one-on-one with a colleague, you ask, “What are you passionate about outside of work?” They share their interest in photography, and in the next conversation, you ask about their latest photo project.

Pro Tip: Follow up on earlier conversations by asking how their project or passion is going. It shows you’re invested in their growth and well-being.

6. Send ‘Friday Highlights’

End the workweek on a proactive note by sending a brief email summarizing the key accomplishments of your week, your learnings, and what’s planned for the upcoming week. This is a simple but effective way to ensure transparency and keep your team aligned.

Why it matters: Sending these updates shows you’re organized, accountable, and proactive about your work, which builds trust with managers and colleagues.

Example: A Friday Highlights email could look like:

  • Completed: Finished the report on last quarter’s sales.
  • Key learnings: Realized that we need more data from the marketing team to finalize the analysis.
  • Next week: Plan to follow up with marketing and finalize the report for the board meeting.

Pro Tip: Keep your summaries short but meaningful, and tailor them to align with your team’s goals and priorities.

7. Don’t Complain or Gossip. Ever.

How you speak about others reflects your character. Complaining or gossiping creates a toxic environment and erodes trust. Instead, focus on positive, solution-oriented conversations that contribute to the growth of the team.

Why it matters: A professional who stays positive and focuses on solutions is seen as reliable and approachable, creating a healthier and more productive work environment.

Example: Instead of complaining about a colleague’s tardiness, you could say, “Let’s brainstorm ways we can improve the timing of our project meetings to ensure we stay on track.”

Pro Tip: Redirect negative or gossipy conversations toward constructive solutions that promote collaboration and progress.

8. Remember All the Names

The simple act of remembering someone’s name can make a huge difference in how you are perceived. People feel respected and valued when you remember their name and, ideally, some personal details about them.

Why it matters: A person’s name is often their favorite sound, and remembering it can instantly strengthen the rapport between you and the other person, making them feel important.

Example: During a team meeting, you remember a colleague’s spouse’s name and mention that you hope their vacation went well. This personal touch makes the colleague feel valued and appreciated.

Pro Tip: Use memory tricks like repeating their name during the conversation or associating the name with a distinctive visual to help you recall it easily.

9. Give Yourself a Personal MBA

Taking time every day to read and learn new concepts from books on business, leadership, or personal development is a powerful way to build your executive skills. A consistent 30-minute reading habit can give you valuable insights to apply in your career.

Why it matters: Continuously learning and applying new knowledge sets you apart in a competitive workplace, showing that you’re committed to personal growth and leadership.

Example: You read a chapter on time management techniques from a well-regarded business book and implement one of the strategies, like time blocking, to improve your daily productivity.

Pro Tip: Curate a list of top business or leadership books and commit to reading for 30 minutes each day, taking notes to apply key lessons in your professional life.

Conclusion

Mastering these soft skills can be transformative for your career. By making these habits a part of your daily routine, you can build stronger relationships, improve communication, and increase your value in the workplace. Start by picking one or two skills to focus on, and watch your professional life grow!

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